Things I Would Not Have Learned If I Didn't Have Children

Ok, so if you think this is a post about how I found out that my heart could live outside of my chest, or how a child wandering off can make you feel like you're dying till you find him, or how I became a whole new person by having kids, you're WAY wrong.

No, this is about how I learned that . . .

. . . little boys + Sonic's "Ocean Water" or dark blue Gatorade = Day-Glo green poop and giant amusement.

. . . if your children decide during naptime to become Picassos in their bedroom, and their medium is poo, it's OK to shut the door on it to make your husband deal with it when he gets home (ya know, to protect your sanity), because it turns out that dry poo cleans up more easily (use the vacuum hose to scratch it off).

. . . making dessert may become a criminal offense. Diet guilt? No. Last night my son told someone we were eating "toddler". No, son, it's cobbler. (On another note, why the heck is it "cobbler" anyway?).

What about you? What have you learned from your children?